Category Archives: Life’s Little Experiences

When a butterfly visits…

My feet and my legs were tired, and I was wrapping up another day of eight hours of lecture with my graduate students. After almost 4 hours of Pathophysiology with my previous class, and four hours of Diagnostics in Primary Care with my higher level students, I am sure the students’ brains were fried. Slowly each student exited the room, as I gathered my belongings dreading the walk across the hot parking lot to my vehicle. However, before I could leave, my colleague who also happens to be the director of the program poked her head in the class room.

I was pleasantly surprised as she was definitely a positive end to a grueling day, and her smile made me smile. We engaged in small talk for a moment , but then she suddenly pointed out that there was a ginormous butterfly sitting on the window sill. Now, under any other circumstances there is nothing abnormal about a butterfly sitting on the window sill on a hot summer day in the South, but we were on the third floor of a very tall building.

Initially, it appeared as if the butterfly were not alive. It just sat there… still… but it’s colors were so beautiful that my colleague had to get a picture of it. She raced toward the window and began snapping pictures. I immediately joined her, and as I stood to her left side, it was as if the butterfly came to life. It clearly moved from her side of the window and clearly yet intentionally, re-perched itself directly in front of me as I leaned in closer to admire it as well. Suddenly, the creature began to feverishly flap it’s wings. It just wasn’t normal. It was like something out of a fairy tale.

“Oh my God!” I said to my friend. “What in the world? Do you think it’s trying to telling me something?”

At first she just stared. I think that that she was as surprised as I was. We both knew immediately that this encounter with nature on the third floor of the building was no coincidence. That amazing creature was  clearly trying to communicate with me. It was quite unnerving initially, because it went on for a minute, however, suddenly it appeared as if the butterfly knew he had accomplished what he came to do, and once again like something out of a fairy tale. He swirled away… yes I mean swirled! He flew in what appeared to be a beautiful figure eight and he was gone… again, it looked like something from Disney.

We both stood there for a moment.  “What the hell was that?” I asked with my potty mouth.
“I don’t know?” she replied, “but he definitely came here with a message just for you.”
“Did you get pictures?” I asked.
“Yes,” she replied, “I’ll send them to you.”

I was in complete awe, and although she and I exited and did not speak of the encounter much more while leaving the building, I couldn’t wait to get home to look up what a butterfly encounter could mean. Honestly, this was the second strange encounter I had experienced with nature in past week. Only a week earlier, an Iris that I had planted twelve years ago, finally grew out of an old flower pot this year. I had not noticed it because another pot was obscuring the large bloom that had developed, but when I saw it, I was in awe and I immediately looked up the meaning that Iris’s can carry.

Just like the Iris, as soon as I arrived home, I looked up the meaning of butterflies and just like I thought. It could mean many things, but most of all– wonderful things. However, for the past month I have been studying and trying to follow the law of attraction. I have been trying to reach the highest and purest version of myself that I can be, and constantly working on emitting a constant state of positive energy. The growth of the Iris and now the visit from the butterfly are confirmation for me that everything is going to be okay and that God or the Universe, or whatever you believe ( I choose God) can sense the positive energy that I have been attempting to build in myself.

I have always had strange encounters like this happen in my life. It’s no wonder I am a fantasy writer, but these encounters are not fantasy… they are real… real life… my life… and for them, I know I am blessed. So I say to each of you, do not write off any unusual encounters with nature as coincidence. Just take a deep breath and connect because there is always a message waiting for you behind it all.

Be blessed,

Striving toward my better self!!!

Honestly, I have been away for a while because I have been sulking in self-pity, trying to find out why after discovering my purpose in life, I seem to still feel as if I am spinning my wheels. I realize that many of us feel that way, and once again my story is not an “Oh Woe is me” story. However, since I have been away, many great things have happened for me. Granted, my writing career and my life is not where I would absolutely love it to be, but faith and patience are qualities about myself that I value.  Since I last blogged, I have completed the third book in my series, and I actually have begun a new trilogy called “The Righting Wars”. Book I of the trilogy is in it’s early editing stages, so I will let you guys in on more of what that trilogy is about as it get’s closer to it’s release date. However, as far as my first series ( which is self-published) goes, it has been doing fairly well. My kindle versions of all three books made Amazon best seller (Yaaah!)

Additionally, each of the books in the series have received a five star rating from Reader’s favorite and book IV will be released soon.

  

I also love hearing back from people who have purchased the book, saying how much they loved it. I know it’s a great series. However, I am still waiting on that special editor or agent who loves my genre of fantasy to join forces with me to get me and my series to the New York Times best seller list. In the mean time, it’s all on me and I am still pushing for it.

As far as my schedule goes, I have remained very busy. I am still a strong advocate for St. Jude Children’s Hospital and have attended two events in the past month to support them and share our testimony with the world. I am constantly in a state of growth and always working on self-improvement. I have not given up on the dream of becoming a best-selling author and a world renowned speaker. I am still striving towards those goals. However, it is fans like you, who support me, who read my books, and who share my books with the world that keep me going. I want to say thank you, and because of you I am always attempting to improve both personally, professionally and spiritually. I will continue to work on me because no one is ever perfect and learning is a life-long goal. Thank you for all of your support. I hope that you continue to share and read my books, and I promise to always strive towards my better self.

Be Blessed,


There is Magic in the Air!

WE ARE OUR BROTHER’S KEEPER!!!!!

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It’s been a week since the devastation first hit our little piece of heaven in this corner of the world. Like many I sit in awe of the resilience of those in my community who have lost everything, but continue to keep pushing forward.  Now a week later, I sit in my home and listen as the rain which has so unwelcomely invited itself back into our lives… returns.  The stillness around me is eerie and I can only hear the pitter patter of the rain drops like the feet of an innocent toddler running about my yard and dancing on the roof of my home.

Usually, a day like today would be a perfect day for entering my fantasy world, and writing until my heart is content, but it is as if the characters in my head are aware that there are more pressing issues for me to address.  They sit quietly along with me  listening to rain, lamenting for those who lost their lives,  asking God to take care of those who the floods have ravaged, stolen their memories, and broken their spirits. So writing will have to hold for now, and the children at Saint Julianna’s have given me permission to leave them in freeze frame of chapter nine of my latest novel because South Carolina, my home, my love, my little piece of nirvana needs me more.

I have noticed as I grow older that my sense of obligation to those around me tugs at me strongly when something of this nature takes place in the world.  My first experience was September 11, 2001 better known to the world as 911. I was very young then, but I felt the desire to contribute or do something.  At the time, being a new mother, there wasn’t much I could do, but I remember finding  a legitimate charity on my dial-up internet ( at the time) and donating, just  to make sure  I helped at least one family in need.  That strong urge returned again during Hurricane Katrina, and along with some other nurses we helped those that were relocated to South Carolina with food and clothing as they arrived here in Columbia.

I originally came to Columbia to reinvent myself because of something that happened in my life that I thought was devastating.  I now humble myself because we should pray for the suffering of others and not ourselves, but that wisdom came with age.  This terrible flood that has ravaged South Carolina has brought back a sense of that obligation for me.  It took me many years to feel as if this part of South Carolina were my home, because although I was born and bred here, we tend to get comfortable with even the small towns that we were raised in. However, I now realize, while I thought I would be reinventing myself, God had an entirely different plan for my reinvention.

Although we are going through one of the most terrible and trying times of our lives as citizens of South Carolina, what I will say is that I would not want to be anywhere else in the entire world going through this.  As a South Carolinian, I proudly scream that regardless of our political differences, we love each other! We stick together, we help each other out, and those of us who are of the Christian faith are first and foremost Christians before we claim any affiliation with any political party.  Yes, this flood has put us in quite a state, but we are strong as a State, and we will survive this.

South Carolina 3 South Carolina 4

I thank God that my physical home has not suffered much from these floods, we noticed some small issue this morning, but there is devastation all around me and my heart aches all the same for those who have suffered true loss.  Thank you to our fellow Americans and those around the world who have stepped up to help us navigate the Chaos that the flood rains brought about. Thank you to my fellow citizens for loving and respecting one another.

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Thank you to our Governor, mayor and other political leaders in our state, for knowing what true leadership is, and putting it into action that will produce results.  Thank you for keeping the politics at bay and unity on the forefront! Most of all thank you to the wonderful people of South Carolina for showing the world and setting an example once again as to how we should be there for one another and reminding everyone That…. WE ARE OUR BROTHER’S KEEPER!!!!

Be Blessed,

mJ lOGAN LOGO

The Sledge Hammer Impact

sledge Hammer

The Sledge Hammer Impact:

The Tragic Experience That Revealed My True Purpose in Life.

Life? Is that what we call it? I guess that’s the correct word in the English vernacular. There isn’t a day in “life” I have awoken since my youngest son was diagnosed with brain cancer and not wondered about the mysteries of this life I’m living. I often ask why we experience the things we experience, and what is God or the Universe (if that’s what you believe in- God’s my choice) trying to teach us? My youngest son was diagnosed with Cancer at eleven. Darkness invaded our lives, soaring in reaping havoc and punishing us for some unknown bad deed, some misunderstood or misguided decision, and now my child was suffering for it. Of course I asked why. Do I still ask why? Yes, every day. I am fortunately, God fearing and try living as a Christian to the best of my abilities. As I sit here in my cold garage drinking overly sweetened coffee, I ponder a question one of my friends asked as she faced her own challenges. “What is God trying to teach me?” Unfortunately, I had no answers, because I had the same questions, but wasn’t brave enough to ask aloud.

You see, her story is like my story. The truth is my story is like many of yours. I learned I am not unique! All of our stories have different characters, events, and the good and the bad may be different, however, the theme is synonymous. We ask ourselves why we face challenges, if we treat others kindly, avoid the “isms” of the world, practice good works, strong faith, and give God all the praise! I am grateful, yet I wonder why innocent children develop cancer or anyone for that matter. What was I supposed to learn from my child suffering through brain surgery? What were 32 radiation treatments to his entire brain and spine, exhaustion, hair loss, weight loss, memory blurs, and grief supposed to teach me. What was the lesson when the demonic chemotherapy entered his veins and I had to watch, and allow physicians to almost kill my baby to save him! I had to wake up daily with the uncertainty I was putting him through this for no good reason. Yes, I loved my God and my faith was strong, but I was still uncertain. I knew God was not a respecter of persons, as many parents lost their children, and the guilt, oh the guilt of knowing with all the suffering my child was enduring, he was actually thriving compared to some children. So I asked God “what is my purpose in life?”

My family and the families we bonded with at St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital depended on me for answers. However, after a series of miraculous events in my life, my purpose was revealed! God Spoke to me and said, “You are here to teach, and your son is healed.” So first, I had to learn to let go and let God, and began writing a children’s fantasy to escape and let God do his work. I helped and encouraged families and they would respond “Thank you for your encouragement and inspiration”. My students chose me as favorite teacher and wrote papers naming me as the one person who most inspired their nursing career. I received over 100 excerpts and someone said to me, “That’s your purpose in life.”

A sledge-hammer had pummeled our lives, and unfortunately, some of those closest to us had no idea how something of this magnitude takes over changing you forever. That summer my novel was published, then book II was released, and my purpose revealed. Previously I believed my purpose in life was to be some great historical/famous person. However, after months of feeling the impact of the sledge-hammer, my purpose was revealed to be nothing of the sort. It came to me in a dream where I met a little man on the sidewalk. When he spoke, he knew my story and I remember saying to him “Thank You. You have inspired and encouraged me!” He responded, “Well, isn’t that what you do for others.” Suddenly, I was walking up and down hills and valleys. I was tired, crying, and breathless. At the end of the hills was Oprah Winfrey (I realized at this point that I was dreaming lol). I remember saying the same as before “Thank You. You have inspired and encouraged me!” She responded, “Well, isn’t that what you do for others.”

I woke up and rummaged through files sobbing, and out poured hundreds of remnants from my life (God only knows why I kept). They all carried the theme that I had encouraged and inspired someone. THAT WAS IT! My purpose in life was simple “to encourage and inspire others!” Now I can do it as small as the little man sitting on the street, or I can do it as big as Oprah. However I do it, is up to me and my determination, but that doesn’t change my purpose and it must be done through God. Suddenly everything made sense; I’d written a fantasy novel about a terrible disease, with God’s word intricately woven throughout it! I’d been doing what God wanted me to do- serving my purpose! I now knew my purpose as the sledge-hammer impact slowly lifted.

I told my friend her challenges were ultimately leading to her true purpose, because we all have one. Some of us may be disappointed that it isn’t to become a famous author, a billionaire, a professional athlete, or movie star. Truthfully, your purpose is what it is. How big or small, depends on the fight and determination within you! How much sacrifice, rejection, sadness, and failure can you endure? More so, how much integrity will you keep, and how many people do you refuse to step on to make it! Oprah’s a perfect example of carrying out your purpose majestically; I believe she did it with determination, integrity, without hurting others intentionally or knowingly, and by the grace of God! That’s how I want to do it, and if it doesn’t happen for me before the day I close my eyes, I will know two things… 1. I will get to meet Jesus when I open my eyes again, and 2. I have served my purpose on this Earth.  Be Blessed!

M.J. Logan

The Prayer of A Dreamer!!!!

I have been sitting here contemplating, asking both myself and God- Is it wrong for me to dream?  After coming down with a terrible cold which is actually something that feels much more like the flu ,(based on my medical knowledge I know it’s not) I have had all day to do nothing but build up the Kleenex and… yes… day dream.

Is it wrong for me to day dream that maybe one day, just maybe, Christopher Columbus, Peter Jackson, or even George Lucas would by chance come across my book one day. Is it wrong to dream that one of them would actually read it, and say “Wow! I have to do this movie!”  Sounds kind of far fetched doesn’t it.  Yea… that is what I used to tell myself too, but that is what my books are all about. Believing in the impossible!

You see without dreams, we lose faith, and with out faith, we have no reason to hope. I have learned, that everything in life that I have accomplished began with a dream and a prayer. So while I can dream all day about those famous people one day reading my book and loving it, it might not be one of them who discovers it, but someone will!  Every dream I have ever had has turned into a goal and every goal I have set for myself in one way or another has been reached.

To all my fellow authors out there….Dream Big! Pray Hard! Keep the Faith! and never lose hope! Most of all always remember The True Meaning of Magic!

M. J. Logan